At Oakhaven’s recent married couples retreat, Deb and I made presentations on the theme: “Once Upon A Marriage”. The idea is that our life as a couple is a story being written under the direction of God. When challenging things happen to us as a couple, we accept God’s role as our Chief Editor and Script Writer. Even in the time of stress and difficulty, God demonstrates His power and His faithfulness. We used James 1 as one of the texts as our underpinning of ideas.
I have often found that writing my own paraphrase of a scripture with a slant toward my present experience is helpful. Let me be clear…. a paraphrase is not an attempt to say something to replace what the original inspired writer said. This is an attempt to apply biblical truths to one’s own present situation. With that in mind, read first the NIV translation and then my paraphrase. I hope it has some value to you and that God’s word increasingly becomes a lamp unto your path and a light unto your path. (Psalm 119: 105)
James 1: 2-12 NIV
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
9 The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. 10 But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.
12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
Gary’s Paraphrase for Married Couples
There is real joy in the story of a marriage where trials are faced and overcome.
For we realize that as our faith is challenged and our marriages confront hardship we are actually made stronger. This blessing comes as an outcome of our not giving up…..our refusing to give in. As a result, we become mature as a couple, learning that overcoming our difficulties makes us stronger and better equipped to meet future challenges.
When we are hard pressed for answers, we have learned to ask God for help. And God responds by giving us wisdom and insight just because we asked Him. As a couple, we have accepted that God wants us to believe in His adequacy to overcome anything we encounter. We are to resist negativity and pessimism. God’s blessings are limited severely by couples who refuse to put full trust in Him. If we doubt Him, we are like a wave of the ocean which gets swept to and fro by the wind. Couples whose faith in God is weak, will find themselves unsteady in all they attempt to do.
As couples who embrace our own inadequacies, we are actually elevated in God’s eyes as being reverently confident in His power and not deceived into thinking it is all up to our own effort. We heed the warning to avoid being overconfident in our own power. For if we do so, we just wind up being like a bouquet of pretty flowers which comes to wilt over time. The beauty of an enduring marriage only comes when couples refuse to act independently of God and resist the tendency to live according to their own selfish standards.
A marriage is blessed when the couple holds fast to one another and God even through the tough times. The crowning achievement comes in the form of being blessed of God, both as an individual and as a couple. These blessings are manifested both now and in eternity.
Because of these things, we know that when we love one another it is just one more way of expressing our love for Him.
Our love, our commitment and perseverance as couples, go up to Him as honor and praise.



I first read the book,